More problems in Bun Land Folks. The recent crisis was an awful odor eminating from Jim's apartment. Jim keeps the place immaculate so we just didn't understand it. It had been about 4 weeks and he was ready to pack up and move. A clean freak simply cannot tolerate these kind of conditions. As a last ditch effort to help I pulled out the couch, and...holy shit!! There it was a stack of half eaten, rotten devil dogs with thousands of little bites and cream smears on them. Obviously we cleaned up the mess. Neither thumps or Fran would claim the devil dog fiasco. It was time to take an educated guess. There are two things a devil dog can give you : an erection or a fat ass. well, there was the answer, Thumps was limp and fran's ass fat! So aside from taking away her walbaums and visa card, Jim has her contained in a play area 24/7. I didn't feel bad about it until this letter below came in the mail. What would you do after reading the following:
Dearest human sister almost Kelly:
I don't know how I can live with what I have done. I am the culprit of the devil dog fiasco, yes I Thumper, doer of good....I messed up. If I had to suck down one more fucking bail of hay I would have killed myself. And my salad, so bland, just dark greens, the part most people skip in their salad. I was craving variety, and watching jim molest his devil dog last month just set me off. The way he licked the cream off his nose without flinching, even his farts smelled good after that. So I did it, I used peapod and ordered 12,000 boxes of devil dogs to be delivered. Then I hid them under the couch. This was no easy feet trying to fit all of those devil dogs and fran's fat ass under the same couch. But I did it.
Then I realized I could only eat a half at a time....Problem...I don't like sloppy seconds, so I would just move on to the next devil dog. I mean let's be realistic here, I'm a rabbit, I couldn't just throw the leftovers in the garbage like a human does. So they sat..and..well..here we are.
It's not like Fran is perfect either. You can't imagine how many copies of Cat Fancy she has stolen, and well..used for female things in the past. She really does deserve to be punished. What can I do my almost human sister...Help me!
Yours Truly,
Thumps
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