= Email Scams=

The first email scam is so funny, it really cracks me up. The subject of the email reads, "Where would you like this shipped?". I simply reply, "to your house, make it COD". You can imagine the responses I have gotten back,  and still yet no packages.

The next is always an ambassador or some crap from another country. They want you to help them bank millions of dollars, and need your help. So I simply say "Sure I'd love to help, but I don't have a bank account. Could you Western Union me the $100.00 to open the account, so we can get started on the transaction." Hey, if a millionaire can't spend a hundred dollars to start a bank transaction, could it be that it's a scam? Still waiting for one of these guys to fork over the hundred bucks!

How about this one,"Hey you wanna meet me tonight?". Sure I do, why wouldn't I? I am a middle aged, mother of three, who doesn't know you from a hole in the wall. What time is good for you?

The best is "This is your last chance"....what they really mean is they are going to spam your inbox 40 times an hour for the next year or so, till you give in and purchase their useless information. Time to adjust the spam filter.
                                    

7- Eleven Does it again! Introducing The butterless bagel!

   What an idea, who are these engineering individuals who came up with this idea? They actually have found a way to avoid using butter completely on their rolls and bagels. How do they get away with this you ask? Come on, take a guess. Ok, I'll tell you: THEY LIE!
   It's absolutely amazing, the label reads "Buttered Bagel", but when the unsuspecting customer bites into it, they realize there is no butter at all. They simply purchased a dry bagel. Most customers would be too embarrassed to complain about such a thing, so the scam continues, and the profits soar. Once again, corporation pounding the wallets of society.                                                                                                                                          
                                      

"Save Jimmy Fund" -- Give Today From Your Heart --

We are calling out for help today to save my brother "Jimmy" from a lifetime of Bun Slavery. Jim has been enslaved for years by his group of bunnies Thumper (who probably is a follower), Sid (the muscle), and Frannie (the brains of the operation..and really ugly!!!). They slowly entwined Jimmy in their web of seclusion and made him their prisoner. Frannie has convinced the other two to hide Jim's cell phones, as he never answers the phone. Then she called a locksmith and had a lock put on the inside of his apartment door so he could not leave the place at all. We think she convinced Thumper to eat the key, but cannot confirm this detail at this time. So now all Jim can do everyday is serve them and care for them. I mean look at what they did to his couch....
I believe Fran is smiling here, evil witch! so anyway if you could find it in your heart to help him, please send $50.00 to:

Save the Stupid Rabbit Owner Fund
P.O. Box 444
Riverhead, N.Y.  44414

Please send cash, to allow for quicker distribution to our action plan teams. Be assured this is not a scam to collect money for his destitude sister. We truly love and care for Richard...I mean Jimmy, and want to help!
Any coupons to Winemart are also accepted.

Hospital Stay: 8 Ways to Make Your Nurse Hate You

Want to make your hospital stay as uncomfortable as possible? The best way to do this is to make sure your nurse hates you. Below you can find 8 ways to absolutely make her wish you were anyone's patient except hers.

1- This one is obvious: Ring That Bell!! Over and over, then when she gets to you explain that she took so long to get there you've simply forgotten why you rang, but not to worry as soon as you remember you'll ring again.

2- Ask for the bedpan, tell her your finished. Let her clean everything up, then tell her you have to go again. She'll really love you for this one.

3- Cough all over her, the bed, the table. Forget tissues, why would you want to spare anyone else the misery of your germs.

4- Curse as much as possible. There's nothing better than getting to your job early in the morning and having to listen to 10 cranky truck drivers.

5- If she's a god fearing woman (wearing a cross), be sure to start conversation about your paganistic beliefs, let the real satan worshipper in you come out.

6- When you get your meal tray, complain that it's not what you ordered, she will offer you another option. When you get that tray do the same. Then ask for the original tray back. In the meantime have your family bring up some fast food.

7- When your meds are delivered, ask for a full description of each and every pill, the side effects etc., if you want to take it all the way start trying to match up your symptoms with the medication side effects. She has all the time in the world for this and will truly hate your guts in the end.

8- Now just to make sure she feels completely and utterly unappreciated by you, make sure to rave about all other disciplines except nursing. You know the wonderful physical therapist, the great aide, the intelligent doctor. God forbid you thank your nurse.